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Tuesday, July 30, 2019

5 Love Languages: What's Yours?

You've probably heard of the 5 Love Languages - a book created by Dr. Gary Chapman that basically says relationships grow when we understand each other better. Everyone gives and receives love differently so it makes sense to understand how, and this is true for all types of relationships: couples, friends, family members, coworkers, etc. You can read the book or you can take the quiz online to find out your love language.

What Are the 5 Love Languages

Words of Affirmation: using words to build up the other person, like saying thank you for doing a task - thanks for taking out the trash; thanks for filing that paperwork; thanks for picking up the bill. Unsolicited compliments are important, and in a relationship, hearing the words "I love you" are the upper echelon.

"What's important to understand is that no one has one love language...it's your order of importance that really shows how you give and receive love."

Receiving Gifts: it might sound like this language is about being materialistic, but that's far from true. If this is your main love language, it means that you are in love with the thoughtfulness and effort behind receiving a gift. A gift or gesture shows you that the other person knows you well as they are treated as heartfelt symbols of someone's love.

Acts of Service: doing something for someone else that you know they would appreciate like cooking a meal, helping with homework, running an errand for them, etc. Anything that would ease the burden of responsibility speaks volumes. "Let me do that for you" is music to their ears. The act of service must be out of love and not obligation.

Physical Touch: hugs, kisses, and the like are all very important to someone who is into physical touch. To them, touch communicates warmth, safety, care and love. Even something like holding hands can hold a lot of weight for this love language.

Quality Time: this one is all about undivided attention - being present with the other person without distractions (like social media for example). Taking walks in the park together; sitting on the couch talking (with the TV off - this means no Netflix either); active listening - it's all about spending time together in a meaningful way.

My Love Languages, Ranked

What's important to understand is that no one has one love language. Instead, it's more of a ranking system. So it's likely that you can relate to all five, but it's your order of importance that really shows how you give and receive love.

My primary love language is Quality Time (10), followed by Physical Touch (8), Words of Affirmation (7), Acts of Service (4) and Receiving Gifts (1). The highest score you can get is a 12. This means that receiving gifts and acts of service aren't as important to me when it comes to relationships, whereas words of affirmation, physical touch and quality time are very common languages that I use to communicate love.

Not only is it important to know your love language (or just fun), but it's good to know the other person's love language as well. Quality Time might be imperative for me but could be low on the totem pole for my partner. They could be way more into Words of Affirmation.

Without taking the quiz, what do you think your primary love language is?


| Wearing: ASOS - cami jumpsuit with gathered bodice // Schutz - Ylanna flats |
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30 comments

  1. I never really though of breaking things down like this, but I suppose it might make sense. I suspect my number one would be acts of service, that is my go to for showing someone I care, and what I often appreciate the most.
    Chic on the Cheap

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    1. What I love is that even thought that one isn't high for me, I totally understand why it's important to others.

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  2. I really need to take this test... I feel like words of affirmation would be high for me

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    1. You know what's interesting? I've found that Words Of Affirmation tends to be high on guys' lists. Weird.

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  3. I had read this book few years back ... and realized my love language for giving love is different from receiving love. And I found that to be the case for most people.

    ❥ tanvii.com

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    1. So true. I think Physical Touch is #1 on my receiving side.

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  4. I honestly didn't know what all 5 languages were, only a few of them. Now that I know, I think I would say quality time is my love language. With all the technology and social media that we are all wrapped up in, it can be hard to spend real quality time together without distractions, but every relationship needs that quality time to grow and progress!

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    1. Totally agree. Don't let screens get in the way of quality time -- and that's true for all relationships.

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  5. Ooooo...I haven't heard of this before, Cheryl! Thanks for sharing. Without having done the test, I think my #1 is Words of Affirmation. I would like to think Receiving Gifts will be last for me too but it would probably be my #2:P

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    1. Haha! Wouldn't it be funny if Receiving Gifts was actually your #1?

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  6. Someone gave me that book as a wedding gift and I absolutely loved it. I believe that it's a must for a healthy relationship. I believe that physical touch and quality time are my languages. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. I've read so much about love languages, but I haven't actually read the book. I should totally do that!

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  7. I took this quiz AGES ago, but I don't remember the exact answers. However, I'm 99.9% positive I had quality time first, words of affirmation second, gifts third, service fourth, and touch in the last place. What's weird is I think it's somewhat accurate but I also could probably switch around the last three in any order and it'd be accurate still haha. They're all pretty even.

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    1. I do think my last two could be switched and it wouldn't make a difference because their scores are so low.

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  8. Loved this post and love that it is categorized into different love languages. I think it's so important to understand our loved ones language!

    Kileen
    cute & little

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  9. My fiance and I are actually reading through this book right now together and mine are acts of service and gifts and his are physical touch and quality time. It's such a cool book to read and has been helpful in our pre-marital prep!

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com

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    1. How great that you're actually reading this book now! Also quite interesting results for both you and your fiance.

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  10. My husband and I try to be aware of each other's love language and we act accordingly. We both like to express our love language through words of love and acts of service. I need to try out this quiz for my breakdown.

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    1. Yeah I think knowing your breakdown is good, but it's already good that you guys are aware of each other's languages.

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  11. My love language is definitely words of affirmation!

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    1. I am honestly surprised how high Words of Affirmation is for everyone. I thought Quality Time would be higher.

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  12. My love languages are quality time and acts of service! My husband and I take the test every couple of years. xo

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    1. So good that you guys take the test so often. Good to know each other's languages and then to actually utilize them.

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  13. So my love language is words of affirmation (a 12!!!), which rings so true with me. I need all the communication, haha. And it's so key to know your partner's love language in giving/receiving love; my boyfriend expresses love with acts of service and not so much with words, and knowing that has been really beneficial to our relationship!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

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    1. Exactly, Ashley. Sounds like you know what you're doing!

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  14. I love the look of the ruched and gathered fabric of the Asos cami-jumpsuit with gathered bodice. You look gorgeous wearing it.
    Without actually taking the quiz, I think my love languages are prioritised in the same order as yours are - Quality Time first, followed by Physical Touch second, followed by Words of Affirmation third - althoughwith the exception of the third one, there are times when, being a recluse, I sometimes wonder whether I might be best suited for my pillow and for my TV remote control LOL :/

    https://full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

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  15. Couldn't agree more with your pick dear Quality time is definitely the best thing you can give to anyone you love.
    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

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  16. I've heard that book is amazing, I really need to check it out! Love your summer outfit

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  17. I need to take this quiz, I would say I am a huge mix of all 3 :) xx

    www.fashionjazz.co.za

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